I have so much to be happy for, yet I still feel so much sadness inside.

these past couple of days have been so busy.  friends and family have all come into town.  i finally graduated high school.  i’ve been to a couple of grad parties and got to spend time at the beach today.  but i think the highlight of it all was getting to spend everyday with my mom, her best friend, and her best friend’s son who is blind.

his name is jake and he’s completely inspired me.  he’s only 20, but lost his sight back in december due to a pancreatic infection because of alcoholism.  the doctors said he was supposed to die and had 0% chance of recovery, but here he is today, alive, breathing, and making everyone smile with his sarcastic nature and quick wit.  i absolutely hate how everyone stares at him when he’s in public, but before I met him, I guess I would have done the same to any blind person I would have come across.  he learned his lesson the hard way, but he hasn’t touched alcohol at all since the hospital incident.  i dont know guys, but i just, i’m just so thankful for what God has given me.  i feel like everyday, a lot of christians, including myself, lose our appreciation for our health and all of our abilities.  jake has definitely inspired me to be more thankful for the things i have, definitely my health. 

on a side note, tomorrow’s father’s day.  my third father’s day that I’ll be spending without my dad.  i’m bummed of course, but I know he’s up with Jesus now so at least that gives me a little peace.  ugh, there’s just so much to say, but not enough words to describe everything i’ve been doing/ feeling lately.

hope all of you are doing well!

Tonight, I’m graduating.

I’m graduating this week.  And everyone around me is so excited.  They all say it’s a “milestone”.

But why do I feel like I’ve accomplished nothing?  Why do I feel so empty?

In today’s society, education is a necessary asset to accomplish almost anything.

But when it comes to glorifying God, what’s really necessary? 

I guess I just feel like I’ve been on this earth for 18 years, yet hardly done anything for Him and His glory. 

To society, I’ve accomplished one small feat—achieving a high school diploma.

To God, what have I really accomplished for Him? Have I really loved the way I should?  Have I really helped anyone?

I need to focus more on Him.  I want Him to direct my steps.  I want to be used by my God in a special way. 

Looking forward:  I’m going to utilize any of my skills to the best of my ability to glorify His name.